Our meditation routine is comfortable: Winslow bows down onto my front lawn so I can climb on, and he quickly gallops over the waters, ascending northwest, above Canada. We glide up through a cloud tunnel to reach Jesus in a white clearing.
The first time I met JC, he told me it was OK to look into his eyes. I did and was almost blinded by two clear crystals, bathing me with the intensity of their rays. In subsequent meditations, when I tried to see his face, his features were not visible, as if I had face blindness. Now I don’t look straight on and this seems to suit us both. I’d rather focus on my thoughts and our conversation anyway.
Today I’m in a great mood. I’ve returned to Gentlewood, my home, and I’m beginning to restore. When I walk up to JC, I actually pass in front of him, turning and skipping as I go. It’s a full on Snoopy dance for the big guy! I can hear him laughing and smiling. Prior to meditation, I randomly drew an Arch Angel Sandalphon card from my deck. He is one of two archangels who were once mortal. The card represents “gifts from God” and says all I have to do is open my arms and receive. JC appears a bit entertained.
JC: "How do you feel?"
Sally: “I’m so happyyyyy to be back at Gentlewood!”
JC: “We want to give you gifts! You just have to ask and to want to receive.”
I flashback to a pearl of wisdom from David Zarza that was shared with me by a medium named Melissa last year: ask, believe, receive.
Sally: “I want to plant my MIL (My Inner Lighthouse) roots here! Today, I’m getting ready for the Murphy bed I ordered to arrive, so I will move things out of that room.”
JC: “We want you to succeed.” He’s then pensive for a second or two. “How do you know when you’ve succeeded?”
Wow! Put yourself under the tutelage of the best life coach ever and you’re gonna get some real questions! I try not to overthink it.
Sally: “I feel good about myself.”
JC: [nodding] “Success is about our internal world, not the external world. Yardsticks are for measuring the outside world. Check in with yourself. Breathe. Think about all that you have in your life.”
I’m happy that JC uses the “yardsticks” metaphor. It refers to my speech about MS in which I share my realization that I’d been looking to societal standards as a measure of my success. I called this “using yardsticks.” This was at best artificial and at worst a demeaning barometer, not to mention an energy drain. Plus, yardsticks remind me of two-dimensional thinking; and Catholic school on the Southside of Chicago. Discipline, harshness, fear.
I go inside. Breathe deeply. An essence rises up in me like a vapor, and soon I am immersed in gratitude for the gifts in my life. I begin to nod my head in the affirmative, keeping my eyes closed for full effect. I think: Be happy with what you have. Who you are. JC say, “Just be.”
I open my eyes to such stark wisdom. Man, he’s good…
WHAT I LEARNED:
One must give oneself permission to ask, and believe one is worthy enough to ask.
Unless one is grounded, one cannot connect with who one is and what one wants.
Happiness is not about what we do, it’s about how are are…it’s an internal barometer
Do you ask for what you want?
Do you believe you are worthy of receiving it?